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Gwyneth Rosemary Bennet L.
Gwyneth was born at 1:37am on December 31st, 2010. She weighed 6lbs 11oz and was 20.5 inches long. We had a successful home labor and natural childbirth. I will share more photos and the full story in the next couple of days. We are so happy and blessed to be ringing in the New Year with a healthy, beautiful newborn. Thank you for all your love and support over the last 39 weeks!
This week had flown by! We are enjoying/loving/feeding/kissing/holding/staring at Gigi constantly which makes it a little hard to blog. It's all accumulated over this week so here is a big post all about her...
A few things about you:
You were born at 1:37 a.m. on December 31st, 2010
You weighed 6 lbs 11 oz
You were 20.5 in tall
You have light brown hair and steel blue eyes.
Birth Story:
On Wednesday morning I started having contractions that were 10 minutes apart. They went on all day on Wednesday and all through the night and I didn’t sleep very well. We headed to the doctor on Thursday morning and Michele, the midwife, determined that things were slowly changing. When I got home around 11 a.m. the contractions had started back up. We were so used to the contractions by this point that Kyle went to work and I got busy making ravioli and watching movies.
The contractions continued to go all day about 10 minutes apart, and it wasn’t until about 4:00 p.m. that I called Kyle and asked him to come home because I was beginning to need some support getting through them. My sister called to let me know she had changed her flight to arrive in Portland and was headed to the airport in San Francisco so that she could be here to support us. At this point, I still didn’t really believe or comprehend that I was in labor. Kyle and I cozied up on the couch to watch a couple episodes of Mad Men. I don't really remember the second episode. My sister arrived and rubbed my back through the contractions, held my hand and talked to me about her Christmas.
I took a shower, washed my hair and got all ready for bed. We thought it would be a good idea to try and get a bit of rest. We all went to bed around 10:00 p.m. and it was only a few minutes later that my contractions went from bearable and 10 minutes apart to unbearable and 2-3 minutes apart. At 11:00 I began feeling really sick to my stomach and I threw up a few times and was shaking really badly. Kyle was worried so he called Michele and Margo (our doula) and also called my mom and told her she needed to get on the road! By the time Margo arrived around 11:30 p.m. I was ready to go to the hospital. I was really panicking and in very intense pain. I was afraid that if we didn’t go now, I wouldn’t be able to go at all. Margo’s presence really calmed me down. She coached me to not fight the contractions, to just accept them and to keep my body relaxed and the contractions slowed down again and spaced out. At this point I was ready for drugs! I truly didn’t feel like I could do it anymore. I was sooo tired, homesick and scared. Kyle kept telling me that I could do it, that I was strong and that he loved me.
At 1:00 a.m. Margo encouraged me to get up and walk up and down the hall a few times. I was standing in the hallway with Kyle's arms around me when my water broke at 1:05 a.m. I went to the bathroom to change my clothes. I was really hitting a wall at this point and I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I didn’t want to feel another contraction. I wanted an epidural. I kept thinking and saying, “I need help”. At about 1:15 a.m. I somehow made the decision to take a hot shower and I told myself that, if the shower didn’t help ease the pain a little bit, I was going to go to the hospital and getting an epidural.
I climbed into the shower and knelt down. Kyle put a towel around my shoulders to keep me warm and let the hot water run on my back. Suddenly, I had a really strong contraction and felt something change. My body began to push and I was sure that I was going to have the baby there in our bathtub. Margo directed me to get out of the bath and Meghan and Kyle helped to dress me. Meghan wrapped a big fleece blanket around my shoulders from the dryer to keep me warm. We flew out the door and I was standing on our front steps when my water really broke. Within seconds we were in the car, it was 1:28 a.m. with Kyle driving and Meghan in the back seat. I was literally holding the baby in and I was yelling, “I’m having her in the car!” and Meghan kept saying, “You are not having her in the car!”.
We sped the mile to the hospital and pulled up to the emergency entrance. Kyle ran and grabbed and ER nurse who appeared with a wheelchair. We got to the elevator which seemed to take a hundred years to come. We entered the birthing center and saw our friend Kim (who is a doula and labor/delivery nurse) standing by the door to room 237. Kim quickly assessed what was happening and she said, “Get in the bed now.” I got into the bed and I felt down and felt the top of her head. Kim instructed me to push. Our baby was was born at 1:37 a.m., only nine minutes after we left the house! Kim held her up said, “Here’s your baby.” They handed her to me and I had her on my body. It didn't feel real at all.
Natural childbirth was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and the most intense experience I’ve ever had but, also, the most wonderful thing that I’ve ever done. I had said that I didn't want IV's, didn't want to be monitored and checked constantly, that I wanted to have as close to a home birth experience as possible and that I wanted to stay home as long as possible. I think that we succeeded in all of that! I didn’t think I could love Kyle anymore than I already did, but having gone through this intense experience with him, I love him even more. All I remember is seeing his face close up to mine, seeing his eyes through a curtain of my hair and feeling his hands comforting me. His love for me in those moments of pain and his unyielding confidence in me that I could do bring our baby into the world naturally has intensified the strong bond we already had. The love I feel for him and for our tiny baby is immeasurable and impossible to put into words. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
My two favorite things in the whole world.
Things that happened this week:
You smile in your sleep a lot.
Your umbilical cord fell off... you now have a belly button.
You had your first passport photo taken.
You are inquisitive.
You met Poppy.
You love to sleep with us or in your co-sleeper.
You had your first doctor visit.
You and I had our first slow dance to Louis Armstrong.
You figured out how to roll yourself onto your side.
You had your first bath.
You lifted your head up on your own.
#’s:
9 minutes from the time we left home to the time you were born.
22 hours in the hospital after your birth.
619 photos have been taken of you.
39 weeks of pregnancy.
3 hospital visits total.
13 inches on the Tummy Timeline.
29 pounds gained.
Countless contractions.
15 hours of real labor.
1 stretch mark. (Don’t get your belly button pierced!)
Mario Testino in front of a portrait he took of Princess Diana at her last photo session.
I absolutely love the work of photographer Mario Testino. I have been in love with his unique style of portraiture since I was thirteen and had huge posters of his work all over my bedroom walls. When I was working with Charlize Theron a couple of years ago, I asked her what it was like to work with Mario (he's shot her for two covers/spreads for Vogue). She said that he has an incredible ability to connect with the person he's shooting and to make them feel comfortable and open. Therefore, his work has a more intimate quality to it. I love Mario's photographs because they are vibrant and really capture something special about his subjects. His style is often raw and of the moment yet, at the same time, it manages to be refined and his composition is flawless. He mostly photographs women although he also shoots lots of ad campaigns and spreads for various magazines. Here are a few of my favorite examples of his work I found via Google Images:
The books I have of his are...
I love Anthropolgie and spent a bit of time pursuing their "At Home" department and lusting over their items... some of which are actually reasonably priced. Here's a glimpse at the thing I was drooling over.
Ladies in Waiting Dinner Plate
The past two weeks have been so full of joy. Here's a peak at what was happening around our house.
Amazing rainbow through our front window.
Calypso's starting to accept that Gigi is here to stay.
Hee hee.
We took Baby G up to Seattle for a long weekend to meet the members of her family who hadn't/weren't able to make it down to visit us. We headed up on Thursday afternoon and Gigi did great on the four hour drive! We spent Thursday night having dinner with Kyle's parents and Nana (Great Nana to our little bird). In the last three weeks Nana has welcomed three great grandchildren!
On Friday morning we took Gigi to meet our friend Leah who's a midwife in Seattle and has been a huge source of advice and support for us over the past 10 months. After coffee with Leah, Kyle stayed home with the babe while Erika took me to the mall in search of nursing bras. Um... where the hell are you supposed to buy nursing bras?!?! We went to Nordstroms (they had three choices "in the back"), we went to Macys, Sears and Victorias Secret who didn't have any, we went to Motherhood Maternity who didn't have my size (is a DD that strange?), and I've already been to Target and couldn't find any! Ugh! If you have any suggestions I'd be happy to hear them. In the evening we headed over to my Grandpa's house so that he could meet his first great grandchild. He was clearly smitten and amazed by her! He held her for a long time and referred to her as "amazing" and "a viking princess" several times. My Great Aunt Helen was there too. She was so happy to meet her great great grandniece. It was so wonderful to see four generations together.
We were pretty exhausted from such a busy day. We stayed the night with Meghan and Rob and they had picked up Thai food take out for us for dinner. Perfect!
Saturday was a big day. We had a make up baby shower for Gigi at my sister's house since we'd had to cancel the last one due to the preterm labor scare. It turned into more of a "meet the baby shower" so we had lots of family and friends there. Gigi slept through the whole thing!
We got some really lovely and thoughful gifts for her from everyone. After the shower, Kyle and I left the babe with Meghan and Rob so we could zip down the street for lunch at our friend's Puerto Rican restaurant, La Isla. Then, in the evening we joined our friends Jeremy and Tara for a yummy dinner of enchiladas at their place in Fremont.
We spent Sunday morning wathcing the Seahawks game lose at my Mom's house with her boyfriend, Mike and Meghan and Rob. We headed home around 1:00. Gigi slept the whole way home (other than the half hour we spent feeding her at a rest stop)... I even managed to sleep for an hour which is amazing for me! I am doing my best to become a napper! We got home just in time to watch the Golden Globes in our pj's. All in all it was a busy but wonderful weekend.
Today is the first day the baby and I are home on our own because Kyle had to go back to work... although he did come home long enough to take her to her two week appointment. She had to get a heel poke and a Hep B vaccination. I've been there when other kids that I've nannied for have gotten shots but it was soooo much harder to watch her get one. I cried. The doc says she's growing great (she gained half a pound, grew 3/4 of an inch and her head is 3/4 of an inch bigger). She's in the 80th percentile for height and the 15th for weight. Now we're back home and she's asleep on the couch and I'm going to attempt my first Post-Pregnancy mat workout before it's time to feed her again!
So, it's been 20 days since Gigi was born and I've had my check up with the docs and I am free and clear to begin "low impact mat workouts". I'm really excited to start exercising again. Throughout my pregnancy, or at least up until 29 weeks when I was restricted to mostly resting, I was walking 2-4 miles a day and doing some simple conditioning and stretching from my Tracy Anderson Mat Workout DVD 4-5 times each week and I was also doing Pregnancy Yoga. Pregnancy is such an incredible physical journey and, while there were many things I enjoyed about being pregnant, I have to admit that I didn't always enjoy watching my body morph and change and I really didn't enjoy having my wardrobe whittled slowly down to 2 pairs of jeans and a handful of tops and one pair of shoes (I only had one pair I could put on and take off easily on my own). Anyway... now that our little one is here, I am looking forward to getting my wardrobe (a blog on that soon) and my body back in working order.
I thought I'd give you a glimpse at what I look like right now:
Don't mind the dark circles under my eyes and the breast milk on my bra!
Here's the stats...
Pre-pregnancy weight: 124 lbs
Weight at end of pregnancy: 153 lbs (gained 29 lbs)
Current weight: 131 lbs
The goal: 120-125 lbs (this is the weight range I feel the best at)
Pre-pregnancy measurements: 36-27-37
Belly measurement at end of pregnancy: 39
Current measurement: 38-31-38
The goal: I don't really have a goal here! I have no idea what's realistic. Of course, I would love to have my 27 inch waist back but... As longs as I can fit in my pre-pregancy clothes comfortably then that will be perfect.
I recognize that I am blessed with very good genes and have bounced back really quickly to very close to my pre-pregnancy size. That being said, I am still not feeling quite like myself. I don't feel fit and strong and my ab muscles are pretty much non-existent. I am learning how important my core and back stabilizers are to improving and hopefully eliminating my back and S.I. joint pain. I am setting some fitness goals for myself and, as winter draws to a close (hey, a girl can dream) it's the perfect time of year to start getting active again. My goal is to start going for nice long walks again (2-4 miles) and to do my Tracy Anderson Post-Pregnancy Mat Workout 3-5 times each week. I did it once already and my abs are definitely sore!
I wish I had a one of these...
(Kyle thinks I've forgotten about micropiglets... but I haven't).
I'm going to make these...
I need these...
I'm looking forward to this...
I can't stop thinking about this...
I dream about doing this...
I'm looking forward to this...
I love this...
and this...
We had a really fun, relaxing weekend. Last Thursday, my friend (and Gigi's God-Mama), Marion came down for a weekend visit to meet her God-Daughter and keep me company because Kyle's back at work full time. She actually drove down on Wednesday night, let herself in and went to bed so she could be there to have the full day with us on Thursday. We didn't even hear her come in which is a bit concerning! The only sound worth waking up for these days is the chirping of our baby bird. We spent all day on Thursday in our sweats and Marion cuddled with Gigi. At two I went to pick Poppy up while Marion stayed home with the babe and then she made dinner for me while I went to my Spanish class. When I got home we ate and then curled up on the couch to watch Black Swan (blog on this Wednesday) which was relaxing exhilarating and intense!
Gigi loves her as much as I do!
Friday we got a bit more active and walked into town with Gigi in her Bugaboo. We had a great time downtown even though it was cold and rainy and I fell in love with these boots which are way out of my price range! They're made in Spain for The Frye Company and they are beautiful!
Actually, I don't have a price range right now... unless they make boots that cost under $10? It's not as romantic of a budget as it seems in Breakfast at Tiffany's...
PAUL: I'M GOING TO BUY YOU A PRESENT. YOU BOUGHT ME A TYPEWRITER RIBBON, AND IT
BROUGHT LUCK. HOLLY: BUT TIFFANY'S CAN BE PRETTY EXPENSIVE. PAUL: I'VE GOT MY CHECK AND $10. HOLLY: I WOULDN'T LET YOU CASH YOUR CHECK, BUT A PRESENT FOR $10 OR UNDER, THAT
I'LL ACCEPT. OF COURSE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'LL FIND HERE FOR $10.
Saturday morning came way to soon and it was time for Marion to head home. We woke up to a gorgeous blue sky and enough sun to make you think it was Spring! Kyle suggested that we head to the Maryhill Winery for a wine tasting with Marion since it was on her way home. We popped Gigi in to her Moby wrap and sipped some yummy wine before kissing Marion goodbye and heading back home.
View from the tasting room.
We headed home on the Washington side of the Columbia so we could enjoy the gorgeous scenery.
Sunday was football day (of course). Kyle got up in the morning and left me to cuddle with Gigi while he cleaned up the whole house which was disgusting and cluttered (thanks honey)! Then he and a co-worker watched football while I made cupcakes for Amy's (Poppy's Mom) birthday. Then Kyle, Gigi and I headed over to spend a few hours with Poppy so her parents could go out to dinner.
Gigi loves to nap in her Moby. Marion made her that adorable hat! What a little elf baby!
After such a fun-filled weekend we are all a bit sleepy but getting a good start to the week. My goal for this week is to get back in the swing of things. Our little butterbean is three weeks old already(!) and I'm craving a little semblance of a routine. We have been so lucky because she loves to sleep at night (almost as much as we do) and so we've been getting enough rest which leaves me alert enough to contemplate a routine. It also helps that I am back to work this week (I only worked six hours last week so that doesn't count) and having Poppy set days and times helps me to establish a weekly schedule. I'll let you know what I come up with and then we'll see how it goes...
Black Swan
Fox Searchlight
When I first started hearing the buzz about this psychological thriller, I was completely intrigued. In the film Natalie Portman plays Nina, a ballerina who spirals into paranoia and insanity within the pressure cooker world of the New York City Ballet. She is cast as the Swan Queen in a modernized retelling of Swan Lake. She's under intense pressure from her crazy Mother (Barbara Hershey) who is living vicariously through her daughter's success and she is being pushed to embrace her dark side (the black swan) by the company's manipulative and slightly pervy director (Vincent Cassel). The arrival of another ballerina and rival (Mila Kunis) is a the final element that pushes her towards her metamorphosis. The more that this "sweet girl" embraces her dark side in the pursuit of perfecting the role, the more she becomes lost in the dark side of her mind and falls prey to the insanity that was clearly within her to begin with.
Watching the trailer...
...it was clear this was not going to be a lighthearted/easy to watch film. Not that I'd expect much less from the director who brought us Requiem for a Dream, which I've never been able to make it through. Rather, Black Swan is an intense physiological thriller with a dash of horror elements for good measure. Although it's not the type of movie I would typically be jumping up to watch, (I think the only two psychological thrillers I've ever seen are Silence of the Lambs and The Talented Mr. Ripley) I started hearing and reading so many fascinating things about the dedication behind the making of this film that it became clear that this was a film to see.
I read that the director, Darren Aronofsky, had approached Natalie Portman about the role ten years ago when the 29 year old actress was only 19 and that she played a huge part in getting the film made. I'm guessing, "I want to make a psychological thriller about ballerinas", didn't get a lot of studio heads to open their check books. I watched a few great interviews with Natalie Portman in which she revealed that she trained for a year for the role, starting six months before the film had been financed, lost twenty pounds to accurately portray the part (you can't play a bulimic ballerina and look healthy) and learned to dance en pointe. As an actress, I am intrigued whenever anyone dedicates so much to a performance. She also said in the interviews that she believed Aronofsky was a puppet-master. He tried to create a real life rivalry between herself and her old friend Mila Kunis. He also pushed her to perform and maintain character while injured (she dislocated a rib during a lift). While on the Late Show with David Letterman she revealed that when she asked for a medic she was informed that there was no medic on set because the budget was so low, she said, "before you take away a medic take away my trailer", she obviously received medical attention but the next day her trailer was gone. In short, this just sounded like a film I had to see because, when everything... the training, the dedication, the powerful intentions of everyone involved, comes together to make something this unique, it doesn't matter if you lose sleep because it's so freaking crazy and jolting. Add in the final cherry on top which is that design team Kate and Laura Mulleavy of Rodarte made the costumes for the ballet and I'm in.
So... what did I think about the movie? I think that it is definitely worth seeing because the film is beautifully and meticulously shot (all handheld!?), acted to perfection and stunningly original. I really, really loved this movie and, although I don't think I'll be sitting down to watch it again any time soon, afterall I can only afford so much lost sleep with a newborn, I highly recommend that you go see it. I guarantee that, whether you love it or not, you will be discussing it and thinking about it! On the surface, this is psychological thriller set in the ballet world, but it's also an exploration of the tragedy of the human condition, the fragility of our minds and the damage that insecurity vs. ego can unleash.
A short interview with Portman in which she explains the "duality" and "delusion" of her character, Nina:
Have you seen it? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
A few things that happened this month...
You have become much more alert and track things with your eyes.
You love to look at windows.
You smile when you are awake and alert, when you are dreaming, when you are waking up and falling asleep and when you hear your Dad’s voice, you even smile while you're eating (which often results in spilt milk)... you are a very smiley babe!
You love to hang out in your Moby and fall alseep there and you love to snuggle.
You can lift your head up on your own and hold it for about ten seconds.
You sleep with your arms and hands in funny positions which makes us giggle.
My favorite thing that you do is, when you just finish yawning you make a very loud ducky sound so, I’ve started calling you Ducky.
You fight going to sleep a couple times a day and amazing stare endurance. You can keep your eyes open even when you are so tired!
You (mostly) love having bath time. You become very quite and kick around a lot.
You had your first slow dance with your Daddy.
You have started doing tummy time which you seem to enjoy for about five minutes.
You've started making new sounds, chirping, squeaking, sighing and grunting. It's so cute!
#'s:
12 diapers a day.
3 changes of clothes.
2 1/2 hours of soothing time each day.
No less than 60 kisses per day (much more if Poppy is over)!
At least 5 hours of cuddle time.
About 6 hours of breastfeeding.
8.4 pounds..not sure how accurate our scale is... this seems crazy to me!
21 inches
