Gigi is totally ready to be a big sister. We got her this wonderful book called, I'm a Big Sister (there's a version for big brothers too) and G has been reading it to her baby doll a lot. It was actually surprisingly hard to find a completely thoughtful, positive book about becoming a big sister. A lot of them portrayted the big sibling as getting spoiled and bribed, and frankly, being awfully bratty! So, if you're looking for a sweet one, this is it. It mentions ways she can be helpful, what she can do, and points out how very special she is.

The other day she asked to get in the baby's crib with her doll, tucked her in and proceeded to read the book to her. It was heart-melting. My favorite is when she reads, "Look at me! I'm your big sister!" She's going to be such an amazing sis. We also have a few little presents tucked away for her from her baby sister. One thing she can use to "play" with her sis (an old school Fisher-Price doctor kit), and something just for her (a Melissa & Doug sticker book), and something silly (a bright purple calculator since she loves "doing calculations with my Dad")!

She's been cuddling my belly, and is more and more interested in feeling the baby move. And at our doctor appointment this morning they let her find the heartbeat all on her own, her eyes lit up and she was so excited and said, "That's a silly baby!" She plays "midwife" all the time at home. Using a measuring tape to measure my belly, listening, and she even gets a little towel wipe the imaginary gel off my tummy... and today she put on her (imaginary) gloves and said, "Okay, Mama, I need to check your 'gina!" Maybe she's come with me to one too many appointments...

As ready as we are to welcome this little one, I'm also enjoying all of these moments.

Lately, Gigi has been wanting to do everything herself. She's so independent. We are encouraging her to do everything she can on her own and only help her when she asks us. We give her lots of choices. I can't tell you how many times a day we say to her, "Do you want to do it yourself, or do you want me to help you?" She can get in and out of her carseat on her own, and the other day she got dressed completely on her own (although she did have a little trouble with her socks). Of course, if you forget for one second that she can do "it" herself, tears will appear. She doesn't even want us to cut her food for her anymore. She'll take on a whole slice of pizza or sandwhich. On Monday we had a huge potty success... right when I was about to give up on the potty training, she went into the bathroom, turned on the light, climbed up on the potty, wiped herself, got back down and came running to tell me. She just wanted the ability to do it on her own. I'm so proud of all these little milestones. Watching her struggle to get her shoes on, move something heavy, or do something new can be hard, (I just want to help her do it) but the excitement and pride on her face when she manages to do it on her own are priceless. Although, I have to admit, I feel a little happy when she says, "I need help please, Mama." It's good to know I'm needed by my little/big girl sometimes.

This week I've been thinking a lot... about childbirth, about pregnancy, about miscarriages, about raising a toddler, about post-partum depression, about welcoming a daughter into our lives. When I got pregnant with Gigi, I had experienced none of these things. But as I near the end of this pregnancy, I realize that I've experienced them all. Every single one of these experiences has been life-changing in one way or another. I feel like I'm such a different person than I was when I took that pregnancy test three years ago.

Some of the experiences I've shared here, others I haven't. At the time, I didn't share that I had a miscarriage because it was quite early on in the pregnancy, at six weeks, and I didn't really know how I felt about it. I know that many people are devastated by miscarriages, no matter how early in their pregnancy... but in a strange way, I felt grateful. I felt grateful that my body recognized that something wasn't right and knew what to do. Then, the very next month I began my journey with this pregnancy. It all felt like it happened really fast and then my focus was on this pregnancy. In fact, this pregnancy feels like it's gone so fast.

With my first pregnancy I was reading books, getting weekly emails, making a birth plan, watching documentaries... all my focus was on the pregnancy. This experience has been so different. I haven't read a single book, my birth plan 10 times shorter (and I just made it yesterday). Raising a toddler is all encompassing, I've hardly had time to focus on being pregnant, and now here we are, just a handful of weeks from welcoming this baby into our lives. I'm treasuring these last weeks of it being just me and G, and at the same time, I'm looking forward having our family grow. It's a little bittersweet.

Then there's childbirth. On the one hand I feel more prepared having experienced it before. But, on the other hand I feel nervous about experiencing it all again. It's so intense and overwhelming, physically and emotionally. I had a totally ideal, natural birth with Gigi. No medical intervention at all, in fact we practically had a home-birth. I know that this birth is going to be it's own experience. After being in labor/having intense contractions for 8 hours a couple weekends ago, I feel nervous about the pain. I hadn't completely forgotten it, but I suppose I had forgotten exactly what it felt like. It's strange to feel at once empowered, and completely humbled, by an experience.

One thing I felt nervous about before getting pregnant this time, and still feel nervous about is post-partum depression and anxiety. I only wrote about it once here, because it was a very difficult experience. As I get closer to having a newborn again, I'm finding my mind revisiting some of what that experience was like... and hoping that this time is different. The saving grace is that this time I know what it felt like, and I won't be ashamed or afraid to ask for help if I need it. With Gigi, I didn't know, and it was a while before I was able to ask for help, which I desperately needed. In fact, it wasn't until G was almost one year old that I really recognized what I had experienced.

Apart from all of these nerves, I feel intensely excited. I've been preparing the little nursery space, washing swaddles, sewing burp rags, packing the hospital bag... it is all starting to feel real. We are going to have another baby, another daughter, here in our home, in our arms, so soon. Gigi will be a big sister. I will be a mother of two. My husband will be surrounded by girls. We will be a family of four. I'm so excited to meet this little girl, I wonder what she'll look like, what her personality will be. I will be breastfeeding again. I will be deliriously tired and happy.

Gigi sleeping soundly in her big girl bed.

In preparation for our trip we decided to transition Gigi out of her crib and into a toddler bed/big girl bed. It's sounding like we have some travel cribs lined up during our vacation but we wanted to be prepared for whatever was available. This is my first time ever attempting to transition a baby out of a crib so I didn't know how it would go. I knew that it could be challenging and that it would involve establishing a firm boundary where the walls of the crib used to be. We have the Gulliver crib from Ikea which transitions really easily into a toddler bed. The front simply comes off leaving the crib mattress exposed, like a daybed. I opted to leave her bumper on as a little reminder where the edge of the bed used to be but once it's firmly established we'll take that off too. The first night she was thrilled/terrified. She climbed out twice and though it was so much fun... and I have to admit that hearing her little pitter patter down the hallway and hearing her giggle was kinda cute. But I wiped the smile off my face and laid her back down in bed. She only got up one more time... then came the tears. She was not happy to have her fun squashed, and she was a bit scared of her new un-surrounded surroundings. I went in a couple of times to calm her down and assure her that she was safe. It's now been almost 10 days and she fully respects the boundaries that we've established for her. When she wakes up in the morning or from naps she doesn't get out but calls for us and waits for us to come and get her. She has only fallen out once and she kind of stumbled towards the door where I simply turned her around and tucked her back into bed. The Gulliver crib/bed is so low to the ground I'm never worried about her hurting herself by falling.

I'm so happy that this transition has gone well. I think it will help as we travel around Europe because she won't be expecting to be enclosed. Now if only I could prepare for the jet-leg!

At the end of the day, even on the harder days, I love giving Gigi her bath. In fact, I look forward to it all day long. When she climbs into that warm water she becomes the silliest baby, bursting with giggles. It's a time for me to really be in the moment. I try to take it all in... the way her hair looks, the smell of the baby soap, how tiny her little shoulder blades are... For some reason, during bath time, I'm always so aware that another day is done and it's going by way too quickly.

Boy, do I love her to pieces.

Also, I'm pretty sure the majority of her hydration for the day comes from drinking bathwater. C'est la vie.

I hope you all have a great weekend... Kyle had shoulder surgery yesterday so we're going our best around here to keep everyone comfortable, rested, fed, and happy. Looks like it might be a queit weekend for us.

Gwyneth is now almost 16 months old, but when she turned one I (half-jokingly) told a mom of five I know, that I was going to come to her when it was time for potty training. She told me, "Start now. Just start putting Gwyneth on the potty before baths or at diaper change times to get her used to the idea." I know for a lot of mom's they run into a big issue with potty training because their tykes are frightened of the toilet, so it seemed logical to me to introduce her to it before it would occur to her to be scared.

I ordered a Baby Bjorn Toilet Trainer potty seat for her and started setting her on the toilet for a few minutes every night while I got her bath ready. The seat works great and I've been really happy with it. She's seems really comfortable on it. She went pee while perched there once or twice but it was most likely a coincidence (which we made a HUGE deal out of). Then, when we went to California the project got put on hold. But she was with me 24/7, including on trips to the bathroom. I showed her how "Mommy goes potty" but didn't think it was really sinking in until... we got home and she started going to the bathroom on the potty!

It's now been more than a week since I've changed a poopy diaper! I am still kind of shocked. I really didn't expect for her to figure it out so quickly. Since it was so obvious that she was trying and succeeding at using the toilet we've really ramped up our training. I watch (and listen) for signs that she may need to use the toilet (usually she's very quiet or very.. uh, gassy) and we try to make it really fun. If she says/signs "all done" we get her down right away so it doesn't feel like something she has to do.

We also have a great book pop-up called Princess Potty Time (there's a version for Superheros too) that my Dad and Stepmom got for her. I also have a couple less interactive books like Curious George Visits the Zoo, and I just take time talking about the different animals (as opposed to reading the story in an animated way). She seems to be able to focus better when it's not too interactive or animated. She likes to hold the book at first but then when she's ready to go, she hands it off to me and I show her the pictures while she goes.

When she successfully uses the toilet I give her one square of toilet paper (which is the most thrilling thing ever) and she gets to "wipe" then throw it in the potty. I quickly flush the toilet, and I try not to let her see how it's done (I don't need her continuously trying to flush). Then she claps for her self and cheers, "Day! Day! Bye bye poo poo!" I only give her the toilet paper and only flush when she goes because I want her to learn that those are rewards, otherwise I'm afraid she'd just say "all done" to get to the fun stuff without actually going potty. This week I'm planning to make her a "Star Chart" that she can put a sticker on when she uses the toilet successfully.

Gwyneth is still wearing her BumGenius 4.0 diapers all the time and while she does occasionally pee in the potty, her diapers are usually really wet. Where we're having the most success is with pooping in the potty. Those signs are easy for me to see. This toilet training business happened so naturally for her. It takes awareness, time, and patience from us but it's so worth it. I'm ridiculously proud of her.

I'm by no means an expert on this process. I'd love any advice, or tips you want to share! Every kid is different and everyone finds their own methods that work for them. I'll keep you up to date on how the process continues to go, and what's working for us.