Today is my 29th birthday. I got a wonderful present first thing this morning! Gwyneth was coming in to bed to snuggle and nurse and she said, "Mom!" really clearly for the first time. Best present ever. Today is also the two year anniversary of this blog. It's brought me so much joy. Thank you all for your love and support. Here's to another great year.

And, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my cake stealing brother. Love you Ry Guy.

Gwyneth and I love nothing more than slipping out of the house in the middle of the day to meet Kyle for lunch. We do it just about every week. Usually we just meet him at the brewery to grab a pint and a pizza. It's so fun for Gwynnie to get a chance to see her "da da da DAAAAA" in the middle of his busy day. Lunches with Daddy are one of our favorite things.

Happy Monday! I hope you are all having a great start to the new week. I felt very stressed last week so I'm taking today to get organized for this busy week.

There has been a blog post being passed around the Internet talking about motherhood. I'm not going to even link to this article because, frankly, I found it to be cynical, sarcastic, and negative.  While I understand the need to vent, I am fed up with the negative. The negativity began when we first shared with people that we were expecting...

"Enjoy these last months of sleep." 
"Breastfeeding is soooo hard."
"You two are going to bicker all the time. Babies bring out the worst in your marriage."
"Say goodbye to your sex life."
"I didn't shower for like, four months after our baby was born."

Everyone warned us that doomsday was quickly approaching. All Kyle and I wanted was for one person with young kids, just one, to say to us, "Parenting is so fun! It's amazing. It's the best choice we ever made!”, without prefacing it by telling us how hard it was and how much this or that sucks. But, it was all doom and gloom and poopy diapers on the horizon, apparently.

We made a choice to ignore every negative statement that came our way, or to turn it into something positive. If people told us we were going to bicker all the time, then we devised a plan on how not to do that. If people said we would no longer have sex, then we decided we would schedule it if we had to.

The negativity continued after Gwyneth was born...
"Oh wow, she slept through the night? That won't last." ...and when it did... "You're second baby won't be like that!" Really?!

In the past year have we slept less? Are my boobs “never going to be the same"? Has our household hygiene been less stellar? Did we bicker sometimes? Have we eaten dinners of cold pasta while balancing a crying baby? Do some days just plain suck? Has it been stressful, challenging, exhausting? Of course! Everyone who decides to become a parent already knows that it will have it's challenges. Why not, for a change, share with those around you who are expecting or who are new parents how wonderful it is! Tell them about how parenting is fun, funny, amazing, perfect, magical, ridiculous, life changing, the best! Because it is.

I often feel that people discount my "Pollyanna" outlook on motherhood because I'm "not cynical yet" and I have an “easy” baby. This is always said with smile that says, "come back and talk to us when you are as bitter about motherhood as we are." I am very grateful for my life, my husband, and my baby. Sure, I’ll admit that Gwyneth is the perfect baby for us. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t whine, cry, wake up in the middle of the night, bite, pinch, or do any of the things that every other baby does. There's a lot of work that goes on behind closed doors and it's frustrating to have that work written off as luck. Perfection is in the eye of the beholder.

Everyone assumes that because I am so happy to be a mom, rarely complain, find joy in the little things, and find humor in the hard stuff, that I have had a really easy baby and an easy transition into motherhood.  But it wasn't that easy. After Gwyneth was born, I plummeted into a state of extreme anxiety. I felt extremely nervous and unbelievably angry. I was hit with intense panic attacks, I heard voices in my head that were threatening and terrifying, I was afraid of myself, fearful of everything, I cried a lot, and my body tense with anger. After a few weeks I finally managed to say to Kyle, "I think I'm going crazy. I think I need help." Asking for help was incredibly hard. As a mother, I didn't want to need help. Luckily, I had worked with an amazing counselor in my late teens, and was able to call her for the help and support I desperately needed. I worked with her a few times a week over the phone for my first two months as a new mom. Just talking helped. Exercise helped. Fairly quickly I was able to regain my footing, and proceed with joy and intention into my role as a Gwyneth's Mom.

About a month ago I was watching an old interview with Brooke Shields on Oprah (because that's how cool I am), and she was talking in-depth about her experience with postpartum depression. As I watched, something clicked. I completely connected with some of the things she was saying. Not all of it, but a lot of it. The bizarre thing was that, I had read this when I was going through my own experience with postpartum anxiety, or depression, or whatever you want to call it. At the time, I read it and thought, how terrible... it would really suck to feel like that. It wasn't until just a month ago that I recognized myself in it. I thought that having postpartum depression meant that you didn't care for your baby, didn't feel love for them, and weren't ever happy. I was happy a lot of the time, euphoric even. I loved Gwyneth beyond anything I ever imagined, so I didn't recognize what I was experiencing. I'm so glad that there's help when you need it in the form of wonderful lactation consultants, other parents, husbands, sisters, your own parents, friends, and counselors.

The point is, it hasn't been all easy, or perfect for me. I choose to be appreciative, positive, to seize the day, and to live in the moment as much as I can. I love being reminded by sweet older ladies to enjoy it because, "It goes by so quickly". It reminds me to live each day with gratitude, even the hard ones. I love being a parent. I love having someone who needs me and relies on me. I have never had the desire to work so hard for anything in my life. Having a child has made me want to be the best possible person I can be. It has grounded me. It has elated me. It has expanded my heart and my mind. I cherish it. Becoming a parent was the best choice I ever made. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Sometimes I wish the days were twice as long, and that I could do this whole last year over again because I have loved it so much and learned so much. I'm not just saying that to make a point, I really do. I kiss my baby hundreds of times each day, and I go to bed each night and reflect on how lucky I am because, even though it's hard work, it's the best investment of my energy, time, and love that I can make.

If you know someone who's expecting, tell them all the wonderful things you can. Offer your love and support to friends with newborns. Help the new mom at the grocery store load up her groceries so she can get her twins out of the rain, even if that means you and your baby get a little wet. Send a care package to a new dad you know. Every one of us is doing a great job, doing their very best. Be supportive, positive, and encouraging.

I am genuinely excited for the people I know who are expecting... especially my sister and Rob. They are in for such an amazing journey full of joy, snuggling, laughter, and fun. They will probably have some sleepless nights, but babies look beautiful in the moonlight.

Here is a little list of my favorite positive family blogs. They really help me, inspire me and encourage me...

James over at Bleubird Vintage shares her adventures in motherhood. She has three beautiful kiddos, Milla, Jullian, and Gemma. On her blog you will find great food ideas for kids, fun little project ideas, and bits + pieces of her life as a stylish mom.

Naomi's blog, Rockstar Diaries, is the blog I relate with the most. Her amazingly cute daughter, Eleanor, is just a month younger than Gwyneth. It's been so much fun to follow along as she and her husband parent their sweet girl with extreme positivity. They are expecting their second baby this summer.

Adeline's Daddy is a new blog to me. It's fun and refreshing to read a Dad's take on parenting. He just wrote about what it's like to have a daughter and I loved it!

Sometimes Sweet is a great blog. Danielle writes (very well) about being a mom to her son Henry, her healthy habits, and her daily life. Her blog has great variety and is very motivational.

The Littlest is a really sweet blog. Elizabeth shares photos, thoughts, and inspiration. It's always positive and lovely. Her daughter, Elodie, is obviously the apple of her eye.

Katie's blog, Skunkboy Creatures, is fun, stylish, and upbeat. She has two sweet girls, Hope and Poe. Her blog is always a pick-me-up.

Yellow Finch Designs is the blog by busy mom Liz. She has three kiddos and is always positive and proactive.

Good morning!  I'm just getting my morning started with a little cup of tea and a little goal making.

2012 Goals
1. Take care of myself: exercise 3 days a week, drink enough water, sit up straight, get dressed and ready for the day

2.  Finish school: get my BA/Graduate from PSU

3.  Grow a garden: build raised beds, learn about gardening

4.  Work hard on my businesses: launch my new site, take a trip to LA, invest in photoshop, a new lens, and (maybe) a new computer

5.  Read more: books, magazines, Harry Potter in Spanish

6.  Sleep more: get 8 hous of sleep, go to bed earlier

7.  Travel: take a trip to Europe and California

8.  Be a good: mom, wife, sister, daughter, and friend

9.  Our house: complete projects, keep the house clean and cozy

10.  Live well: eat good food, drink exceptional wine, try new things, be joyful

All of these goals seem totally doable.  I'm off to a good start...  School has begun, I've been going to bed at 10pm, we've been keeping the house tidy and clean, and I'm about to get my butt kicked into shape by Tracy Anderson.  Here's too a healthy, happy, motivated start to the New Year! 

Back in August I told you about my love for sending care packages.  I am a believer in the idea that, a small act of kindness, goes a long way.  My favorite way to spread kindness is through a thoughtful care package.  It's all the better if you don't say anything and just pop it in the mail.  Then someone you love gets home from work to find a few little treats.  I am going to do a little care package every month this year!  I'd love if you'd join me.  It really takes only a few minutes and it feels great!  If you decide to join in and send one too let me know.

We don't have much money right now but I'm getting creative!  Here's a little low-budget care package I sent to my mom...


A small container of Dr. Bronner's lavender soap for cozying up cold evenings, and some herbs de provence because my Mom loves to make yummy soups all winter long.  I bought the herbs in the bulk section and put them in a jar I already had.


I also sent her a borrowed copy of The Help.  Even though she has to give it back (to Kyle's Mom) after she finishes it, she still gets to enjoy it, and a Theo Hazelnut Crunch chocolate bar.

And, of course, a nice letter.

Last week the weather here was absolutely gorgeous!  In my line(s) of work, I spend way too much time on the computer.  I needed to get out of the house with my babe.  We hopped in the car, stopped by our favorite coffee shop for a latte, and decided to go for a beautiful drive in the countryside.  We are so incredibly lucky to live so close to so much beauty.  It was warm enough to have the windows rolled down and it was quiet up in the hills.  We just drove in silence and breathed in the fresh, fall air. It was so wonderfully simple and such a great reminder of what each day holds.  Just me and my daughter going for a drive.  If I'd stayed in the house and battled the laundry I would have missed out on all of this...

Welcome to the new home of
A COLLECTION OF PASSIONS!!! 

This has been a labor of love for me and I have to say a HUGE thank you to Dayne at Barracuda Productions for making my vision a complete reality!  Please take some time to look around the new website.  Check out the About page, the Categories and the Archives and the Sponsor Info page.  I would love feedback from you!

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Just a quick thought.  I know for sure that I'm supposed to be this girls mom...

And I'm supposed to be married to this man...

... working as a photographer, nanny, actress and blogger.  For the first time in my life I feel completely fulfilled and happy!

I know that, in this moment...

ALL OF MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE.

THANKS TO DANIELLE FOR THE PROMPT..

Gwyneth Rosemary Bennet Larsen

Gwyneth was born at 1:37am on December 31st, 2010.  She weighed 6lbs 11oz and was 20.5 inches long.  We had a successful home labor and natural childbirth.  I will share more photos and the full story in the next couple of days.  We are so happy and blessed to be ringing in the New Year with a healthy, beautiful newborn.  Thank you for all your love and support over the last 39 weeks!